


The Dirty Kind of Happy Ending

by Geonn



Category: Oglaf, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crossover, Dubious Consent, Enemy Lovers, F/F, M/M, Mash-up, Oral Sex, Prison Sex, Sex Toys, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 22:56:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geonn/pseuds/Geonn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a town in Maine. Then there's this other town in Maine...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dirty Kind of Happy Ending

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of stealing the premise of Once Upon a Time and applying it to Oglaf rather than a true crossover. Although a Mistress/Evil Queen pairing would... be... ahem...

Once upon a time, in a world of magic and a forest of enchantment, an Evil Queen cast a spell. A dark cloud spread over the kingdom she terrorized, taking away all of the "happy endings" and sending everyone who resided there someplace horrible. Unfortunately, magic is not an exact science. Well, it's not a science at all, per se. Kind of the opposite. The point is, the Evil Queen didn't quite set the parameters right. It certainly covered the entire kingdom of her enemies, but it also drifted out to see and enveloped a small island off the coast.

The kingdom became Storybrooke, Maine, and it was to be the site of a grand battle.

The island became... well, it was at the outskirts of the spell, so the changes there were hardly as drastic as what happened in the epicenter. Its name was not important; it was just The Island Kingdom. In the cursed world, outside people (if they thought of the island at all, which was rare) assumed it was just a quaint peace of rustic humor.

Mistress Mayor had a name, a fine name, but she preferred to be called by her title. It reminded her of a life half-remembered. It was a life full of magic and monsters and men. This world wasn't terribly bad. It certainly had its perks, and despite the lack of magic, she was still very capable of bending it to her will when necessary. It was like dominating with one hand tied behind her back. It kept her on her toes.

She was in her office with her feet up on her desk, crossed at the ankles so the heels of her Louboutins pointed toward the entrance. She wore a charcoal gray blazer, only one button done to reveal she was topless underneath, and a matching miniskirt that showed every curved inch of her legs. She was filing her nails down to a point when there was a timid knock on her door.

"Enter."

Deputy Mayor Jack Ivanov entered, his arms weighed down with ledgers and notepads. She could have gotten him one of those iThingies to lighten his load, but it was much more fun this way. Mistress Mayor picked up her paperweight, which most people may have mistaken for a dildo (since it was one) and twisted her fingers around the head as Ivanov waited to be acknowledged. She ran the tip across her mouth, slipped it into her mouth, and pulled it free with a sloppy "POP!" before she turned her squint toward him.

She mustered up the most bored tone she could manage. "Yes?"

"I have the population reports and, uh, the city council meetings are-are here."

"Put them anywhere."

"Do you want a summary?"

"Not particularly." She turned toward the window. From her office, she could see the docks where the ferry hardly ever landed. Part of the curse, no doubt, if such a thing existed. Although sometimes, the idea of magic seemed close enough that she could touch it. Ivanov put down his armload with a weary sigh, put a hand in the small of his back, and arched forward until his spine popped. Mistress Mayor eyed him and noticed the shape of his cock pressing against the front of his trousers, and she arched one eyebrow to a dangerously high level.

"Deputy Mayor... are you comfortable?"

"I, um, ah..."

She snapped her fingers. "Cock out."

Ivanov bit his lip and unfastened his trousers, easing them down his hips until his erection stood out proudly from beneath his shirt. Mistress Mayor picked up her paperweight-slash-dildo and tossed it to him. "Stroke that."

"What?"

"Stroke it. And hands off your own cock."

Ivanov looked at the toy, looked at his own cock, and sighed. He gripped the toy by the base, wet the palm of his other hand, and began to stroke up and down the shaft. Mistress Mayor rested her elbow on the armrest, the long and sharp nail of her index finger extended to her mouth. She pushed her chair back and forth with one foot, rubbing her thighs together as she watched Ivanov manipulate her toy.

Ivanov bit his bottom lip and began thrusting his hips against the air. His fist ran up and down her toy like a piston. Mistress Mayor moved her hand between her legs and rubbed briefly, then reached for the intercom. She punched the button and said, "Mr. Sanders! Your presence is required."

The door opened and Sanders stepped inside. Mr. Sanders was an ambassador... well, actually just a representative of **X** enia **O** ceans ( **A** tlantic, **N** orth). XOAN was the largest fishing company on the east coast, and they were looking for a new site for their home offices. Mistress Mayor was hoping he would choose their island. So far he had been a guest of their fair kingdom for two years and a decision had yet to be reached on whether they would get the business or not. Mistress Mayor didn't care; Sanders was fantastic company and so long as he was there he wasn't scouting other towns.

Sanders examined what was happening in the office, raised an eyebrow, and shut the door behind him. "You always have the best meetings, Mistress Mayor."

Mistress Mayor only smirked as Sanders dropped to his knees and took Ivanov's cock into his mouth. Ivanov groaned, eyes rolling back in his head, and he began thrusting into Sanders' hungry mouth. Mistress Mayor chuckled low in her throat as she watched the display. Ivanov's hand was furiously pumping up and down her toy. Sanders cupped Ivanov's balls with slender fingers, massaging them as he slid his lips down the shaft of his cock. When he pulled back, the tip of his tongue ran around the head of Ivanov's penis and then took it in again. He moaned, and Ivanov thrust his hips wildly as he began to grunt rhythmically.

He came in Sanders' mouth, and Sanders chuckled before swallowing the load. He pulled back, wiped his lips, and twisted at the waist to wink at Mistress Mayor. "Will that be all?"

"For the time being." Mistress Mayor smiled evilly as Sanders got to his feet, brushed off his trousers and walked to the door. He waved over his shoulder as Ivanov meekly returned the dildo to the desk. There was a dazed, wavering smile on his mouth. He took a Kleenex from her desk and wiped himself off before tucking his cock back into his underwear and pulling his pants back up.

"Thank you, Deputy Mayor. That will be all for now." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and he slumped out of the room. Mistress Mayor picked up the dildo, which was still warm from Ivanov's masturbation, and she spread her legs. She pushed her underwear aside. No sense wasting a good warm-up.

The wall behind her served as the separation between City Hall and the Sheriff's Office. Most of the walls in the building were brick or cinder block, but that wall was thin enough to allow certain sounds to transfer. There was only one prisoner at the moment, and she sat up as the first moans filtered through the thin wall to her cell. She stood up and went to the front of the cell, gripping the bars as she pressed her face between them. The wall was at the end of the corridor, and the moans were quiet but growing louder.

"Sheriff!" She slapped the crossbar with her hand, making it ring. "Jailor! Get your butt in here!"

The door separating the cells from the main office opened and Sheriff Mercy Greer stepped inside. She wore a tan uniform under her leather jacket, the badge shining brightly on her right breast. Her long hair trailed down her back, definitely not regulation, but she didn't really care about that sort of thing. She had two braids on either side of her face, trailing over her shoulders like ropes.

"Shut your mouth, Cash."

Vanessa "Van-ca" Cash nodded her head toward the wall. "Hear that? Mistress Mayor is at it again."

Greer rolled her eyes and sauntered toward the cell. "Damn it, Van-ca, I think you just get arrested so you can get your rocks off listening to the free show."

"What about you? You really believe all that law and order bullshit?"

Greer shrugged. "I like authority. I like being in charge. And I love the paycheck. Win-win-win."

"Plus you get to rough me up."

"Oh-ho, that's just a bonus." Greer gripped the bars on either side of Vanessa's face and leaned in. Vanessa wore faded brown jeans and a blouse that was unbuttoned down to her navel to show off her cleavage. She wore a metallic eye patch over her left eye. Vanessa's noticed Greer noticing and arched her back to give her the full effect. Greer quirked her lips and kept her eyes locked on Vanessa's. Well, the exposed one, anyway. Mistress Mayor's groans grew louder, and Greer had to admit that it was starting to get to her.

"If you think I'm opening this cell, you're crazy. You're the only one with a lack of options. Me, I could go down to Snow Queen's, the ice cream shop. The owner there has a thing for me. Maybe I could take her into the freezer... make some of our own noises." She ran her tongue over her lips at the thought. She moved one hand, extending her middle finger to run it down Vanessa's chest. "'Course, I couldn't leave you without someone keeping an eye on you. And there's lots of things we could do even with these bars between us."

Vanessa reached out and cupped the back of Greer's head, pulling her forward until they slammed together in a dangerous collision of lips and tongue. Greer pushed her hands under either side of Vanessa's blouse and cupped her breasts. Vanessa pressed against the bars and ran her hands down the front of Greer's uniform top, mauling her breasts before moving down to her hips.

Greer pulled out of the kiss and smiled. "Keys aren't there, darling."

"Can't blame a girl for trying."

Greer slipped one leg through the bars of the cell and hooked it around Vanessa's body, pulling her close. She reluctantly let go of one breast and pushed her hand down, fumbling with the button before it came free. She pushed the pants down, happy to see Vanessa wasn't wearing underwear.

Mistress Mayor's cries of pleasure had faded, but they were replaced by Greer and Vanessa growling encouragement to each other. Greer's jacket as removed and discarded, and the buttons of her blouse became easy hurdles to Vanessa's skilled fingers. She could steal a man's dentures while he was wearing them, so a few buttons were no match for her.

Greer's bra was tossed aside and she leaned back, pulling Vanessa's head down. Vanessa licked and sucked Greer's breasts, each in turn, and moved her hand to the crotch of Greer's pants. She rubbed, and Greer thrust her hips against the bars of the cell. Vanessa rubbed through her pants, and Greer held on tight as her nipples were sucked and bit and licked.

Greer threw her head back and cried out when she came, giving a little back to Mistress Mayor, and she raked her fingers up and down Vanessa's back until she went limp. Greer wrapped her hands against the bar again, withdrew her leg, and hung from the cell door until she trusted her knees to support her. She flipped her hair out of her face and eyed Vanessa, who stepped back and put a hand over her crotch.

"Now, I'd say--"

Greer let go of the bars and stooped to pick up her blouse and bra.

"What... what are you--" Greer walked away, back out into the main office. "Oh, you bitch! Conniving, fucking, selfish..." She banged her head softly against the bars, squeezed her eyes closed, and tried to tell herself masturbation would suffice. But she didn't _want_ her own fingers! She wanted to be fucked! She wanted someone else to--

The doorway darkened and she turned to see Sheriff Greer standing there. She had lost her trousers and was wearing a leather harness with a realistic cock hanging down between her legs. It swung like a pendulum as she walked, eyebrow raised, one hand on her hip as she slowly advanced.

"Assume the position."

Vanessa spun on her heel, put her hands on her knees, and pressed her ass against the bars of her cell in anticipation of her reward.

Mistress Mayor, on the other side of the wall, tilted her head to one side and listened to the symphony that followed with a wide smile. She tapped her pen against her bottom lip as she heard the prisoner's cries echoing off the brick walls of her cell. Maybe one of these days she would have to check out the Sheriff's abilities personally.

She stood up and went to the window. She knew the spell was centered in Storybrooke, and that their resident bitch was the one who caused it. And yes, there was a chance the spell would be broken and they would be sent back from whence they came. She would appreciate having magic back. But until that happened, this world certainly had its advantages.

Mistress Mayor left her office and brushed her hand over her secretary's shoulders as she passed. "I'll be out of the office for the rest of the afternoon. I need to... see Sheriff Greer."

"Yes, Mistress," her assistant said.

Mistress Mayor smiled as she stepped out into the sun. Yes... even without magic, this world had definite possibilities.


End file.
